You want to talk about sex on the Net? Masturbation issex on the Net, a classic example of how the essence of online life is a very physical strand of disembodiment. Log on and get off; jack in and jack off. The Net is the greatest boon to masturbators in the history of humanity. Despite the technological obstacles such as bandwidth congestion, signal-to-noise ratios, and one-handed typing, hand-to-gland combat fans have never had it so good. The privacy, the choices, the freedom - if at times it may seem difficult to justify Net hype, worry no longer. You can't beat the Net for beating off.
Net masturbation challenges popular criticisms of the online experience as somehow escapist from the "real world," somehow unengaged with the stresses and strains of face-to-face daily life. What could be more "real world" than the very physical act of self-love? The Net is acting as a giant sublimation machine for a universe of computer hermits, offering cheap catharsis at a flat rate. And unless one wants to condemn masturbation itself as an inward-driven cop-out from the social contract, is there really anything so wrong with that?
"A lot more folks are masturbating, discovering masturbation, and enjoying it more because of the Net," Mistress Blanca and Peter told me via email. "The Web is a gold mine of creative erotica that expands the source material for the self-created, personalized, individualized erotic consciousness."
Blanca and Peter run the Masturbation Resources Guide. Along with the Masturbation Home Page, the Guide offers a rich, thoughtful look at the history and practice of onanism. These are the places to go if you want to explore the online world of masturbation in an organized, cultured fashion.
For a more "hands-on" approach, check out JACKIN': The Online Guide to Masturbation for Boys. Dedicated to former US surgeon general Joycelyn Elders, JACKIN' is a graphic, straightforward primer on how and why to wank. Tasteful illustrations of various grips accompany no-nonsense tips on hygiene and lotions - yet another example of handy cyberspatial access to information. Elders, of course, got canned by President Clinton for publicly suggesting that masturbation information should be made accessible. Masturbation, after all, is still taboo - at least in the offline universe.
But if the thought of the cyberspace nation as a community of solo orgiasts writhing by the light of their monitor glow strikes you as somehow unsavory, well, get over it. As Blanca and Peter told me, "Masturbation is the cheapest, most portable, and safest form of sexual expression." Add the Net to the mix, and suddenly you've created a social, even global version of an essentially one-person act. The motto of the Net: Let's all masturbate together. And while we're doing it, we're also managing to avoid sexually transmitted diseases, accidental pregnancies, and face-to-face rejection.
"Thanks to the Internet, the wall of silence surrounding masturbation is crumbling," says "Bill" the pseudonymous assistant editor at News You Can Use, an online newsletter aimed at the masturbating community. "My opinion is that our society and the people who live in it will be much more informed and healthy as a result."
News You Can Use, which Bill says has about 600 subscribers, consists of short accounts of various masturbation anecdotes that remind one of nothing so much as Penthouse Forum letters updated for the '90s, with plenty of goodies for women and gay masturbators included to ensure multi-masturbational correctness. It's affiliated with Fun Talk - a private mailing list for discussing masturbation issues.
Online newsletters, mailing lists, chat rooms, Web pages accessible to all - it's not clear that this is what Dr. Elders had in mind. But the Net may be her best chance at ultimate vindication. Masturbation is no longer a private affair. The taboo has been broken. And as long as the Net stays healthy, it'll stay that way.
