* Illustration: Chrissie Abbott * Satellite Sheik n. A televangelist for Islam. These media-savvy religious leaders broadcast moderate Muslim beliefs on satellite TV and social networks, appealing to Arabs alienated by traditional imams.
Spitterati n. Celebrities who attend posh soirees organized to collect saliva for genetic sequencing. Power players like Rupert Murdoch and Harvey Weinstein have hosted spit parties to provide convenient venues for dispensing the requisite half teaspoon of drool.
Sea Grape n. Pet name for the newly discovered Gromia sphaerica. This grape-sized relative of the giant amoeba leaves an animal-like trail as it rolls itself along the seabed. It may be responsible for tracks in Precambrian fossils that were previously attributed to more complex organisms.
Locasexual n. An environmentalist who applies locavore logic to affection and, on principle, will date only locally. Refusing long-distance attachments and coolly calculating "sex miles," this carbon-conscious canoodler makes love as romantic as a spreadsheet.
— Jonathon Keats (jargon@wired.com)
Start Previous: Disaster Master Sketches Rescue Map for the Big One Next: Stir Welder Builds Rockets With Friction, Not Blowtorches
