Geeking Out in Orlando: The Magic Kingdom

Welcome back to my Geeking Out in Orlando mini-series!

We’re looking at the top ten geeky things to do in each of the major theme parks in Orlando and then we’ll ask for you to vote on which has the best geeky attractions. So far we’ve looked at Disney’s Animal Kingdom, EPCOT, Disney’s Hollywood Studios, and Universal's Island's of Adventure. Today, we’re looking at the final and oldest Disney park in Florida, The Magic Kingdom. Whilst this park isn't home to big geek brands like Star Wars, Harry Potter, or Marvel, it makes up for it with classic attractions, inspirational technology, and lots and lots of pirates.

10. The Magic Kingdom Railroad
It may be an old-fashioned form of geekery, but geeks have loved trains since the dawn of the railways and that holds true at The Magic Kingdom. The Magic Kingdom Railroad is consistently popular and is also an incredibly useful way of getting across the park when parades block off the walkways. Steam lovers can also take a backstage tour to meet the engineers and see behind the scenes of the park’s railroad, and enthusiasts can visit the Carolwood Pacific room over at Disney’s Wilderness Lodge resort where some of Walt’s trains are on display free of charge.

9. Cosmic Ray’s Starlight Cafe
Cosmic Ray’s is a counter service diner style restaurant in Tomorrowland. Although the food is on a par with most other Disney counter-service eateries, here you’ll enjoy light entertainment as you eat thanks to lounge singer Sonny Eclipse. Sonny is an animatronic alien who never goes on a break. Instead he consistently entertains diners with songs like “Gravity Blues” and “Planetary Boogie.” Cosmic Ray’s is also believed to be the second busiest quick-service restaurant in the world, number one is the McDonald's in Moscow.

8. Haunted Mansion
The Haunted Mansion is a true Disney classic with dialogue that most die-hard fans can quote as easily as film buffs can quote their favourite films, “Welcome, foolish mortals...” The ride uses a mixture of old theatre effects, animatronics, and more to create a spooky atmosphere that remains fun throughout as the resident 999 ghosts come out to socialise. My favourite scene is the ballroom where dancing ghosts fade in and out of view as you glide along the balcony, even knowing exactly how the trick is being done it still looks incredible. It’s interesting to note that although a version of The Haunted Mansion is located at Disneyland Paris under the name Phantom Manor, the European ride has an almost entirely different plot once you board your doombuggy, unlike most other Disney duplicates.

7. Captain Jack Sparrow’s Pirate Tutorial
A few times a day Captain Jack comes out into Adventureland to find some young buccaneers to join his crew. The show is broadly similar to the Jedi Training Academy over at Hollywood Studios with Jack and his friend Mack (a bit of a fool character) teaching a group of kids some basic fight moves and the cunning art of running away; however unlike that show, this one really hinges on the actor playing Jack. How well the actor plays, looks, sounds (and runs!) like Jack makes the differences between a good and a great performance but even with the less accurate actors the kids seem to love joining in with Jack and his antics; and he usually has a few jokes just for the adults in the audience too.

6. Tomorrowland Transit Authority PeopleMover (formerly the WEDway PeopleMover)
The TTA is an slow scenic ride up above Tomorrowland that was originally intended for use in the Progress City that was never realised and later became EPCOT. It is smooth, silent, and never stops moving even for loading and unloading, meaning that the queue is nearly always non-existent. The TTA is a great place to relax for ten minutes as you glide around and take in the amazing views of the park, it also travels inside several attractions including Space Mountain and Buzz Lightyear’s Space Ranger Spin. Another great reason to ride is that a portion of Walt’s original model for Progress City is on display in one of the interior sections of the ride. Sadly as the ride moves continuously you won’t get chance to look at all the details – one of the only times you might hope for a ride to break down whilst you are riding. If the TTA is operating during maintenance on Space Mountain (or just when the latter is experiencing technical difficulties) you may just get to see that ride with its lights on too.

5. The Hall of Presidents
Like The American Adventure at EPCOT, this is one for the history geeks. The Hall of Presidents includes animatronics of all 44 U.S. presidents; it was updated in 2009 to include President Barack Obama and he, like Bill Clinton and George W. Bush before him, has recorded a speech which his animatronic figure delivers during the show. The White House even released an official video of President Obama making his recording for the show. Former presidents George Washington and Abraham Lincoln also give speeches during the show which is housed in a building designed to resemble Independence Hall in Philadelphia, the latter reciting the Gettysburg Address. Before the animatronics are revealed, guests watch a short film that covers much of the history of the United States, as well as the origins of both the Constitution and the presidency itself.

4. Buzz Lightyear's Space Ranger Spin
Here's a great one for kids, join Buzz Lightyear as you race off across the galaxy to fight the Evil Emperor Zurg who is out to steal the batteries from toys. Your vehicle is mounted with a gun (which is annoyingly attached to the front making it tricky to aim) and all around you will find targets which, when shot at, gain you points so you can see who's the best at the end of the ride; smaller or moving targets generally accrue more points than larger, stationary ones. Aiming is tricky; your gun is equipped with a laser sight but as there's generally dozens of riders in each room with you it's nigh on impossible to determine which of the myriad red dots whizzing about is yours. Kids love this ride though and it's always good for a bit of friendly(?) competition amongst family and friends; you can even pose with the imprisoned Zurg at the end as you exit through the inevitable gift shop.

3. Walt Disney's Carousel of Progress
This is like no carousel you've ever seen. The Carousel of Progress is actually a revolving theatre where guests see four scenes showing the same family at four different periods in history: the 1890s, 1920s, 1940s, and a somewhat dated version of “today.” The four scenes also gradually progress through the major holidays – it's Valentine's Day in scene one, the Fourth of July in two, the kids have just gone back to school in three, and it’s Christmas in the modern scene. The ride was originally created by Walt himself as a showcase for General Electric at the 1964 World’s Fair and it was sponsored by them at the parks until 1985. The carousel shows the ways electricity has improved our home lives and the new inventions that were taking hold over the decades. Don't expect a balanced discussion on fuels and their consequences here; this is basically a well dressed piece of propaganda, but if you can accept that, then it's a fascinating looks at how family life has changed since the turn of the 20th century and is one of few rides created by Walt himself.

2. Space Mountain
Space Mountain is one of the three Disney mountains in The Magic Kingdom (the others are Splash Mountain and Big Thunder Mountain – the “Disney Mountain Range” also includes Everest in Animal Kingdom and the Matterhorn at Disneyland) and it's also one of the most beloved attractions in the park. It's housed inside an iconic white structure and comprises a dual track coaster, named Alpha and Omega, which are ridden in the dark. The ride's launch sequence and queue music are considered Disney classics by fans and of course there's the infamous flying chocolate chip cookie to look out for (FYI, it's not really a chocolate chip cookie, although the debate still seems open on many Disney sites). The ride itself is a fairly standard roller-coaster, although it's far from the smoothest you'll ever ride; it's meant to simulate a rocket trip to space with lots of sudden dips, turns and jolts and it will definitely wake you up.

1. Pirates of the Caribbean
It's the ride that inspired a wildly successful Hollywood movie franchise that in turn became so popular it ended up inspiring its own changes to the ride that began it all. Pirates of the Caribbean is a boat ride through the life of a pirate, with pirates being chased through scenes by rolling pin wielding wives, bidding on wenches at auction (we wants the redhead!), and doing all the other things you'd expect blaggards and scoundrels to be up to after a day's pillaging – but in a family friendly manner. Throughout the story Captain Jack has been subtly added in using one of the best animatronics ever built. The first time I saw it, even though I knew I was watching a video of the new figure, I was initially convinced it was actually Johnny Depp trying to trick us – even Johnny looked a little perturbed by it when he was taken to meet his lookalike. Finally, who can forget that song? It's probably the second-most well known song from the Disney parks (I won't torment you with the first but we all know what it is). It's virtually impossible to leave the ride without singing along, yo ho yo ho a pirate's life for me...

So do you think the Magic Kingdom might just get your vote for geekiest park in Orlando?

This weekend we’ll be finishing up by visiting Universal Studios as we proceed alphabetically through the parks, and then next week I'll ask you to vote for the geekiest park in Orlando. I look forward to seeing you again.