YouTube has released the Trends Map, which shows what videos are most popular in various parts of the U.S., revealing … well, not that much other than a national obsession with True Blood Season 6. My theory is that they're massaging the results to hide certain regional stereotypes from viewers. An unnamed source at YouTube -- unnamed mostly because I just made him up -- gave me this list of the REAL top videos by city.
San Francisco: "Prius Finds Parking Spot Near Popular Bistro"
Portland: "I Was Into Portland Before the Hipsters Ruined It"
New York: "Tour of Gigantic, 500 Square-Foot Studio"
San Antonio: "Best Brisket Recipe/Tequila Drinking Contest/Chef Catches Fire"
Detroit: "Robocop & Me: Robocop/Roger & Me Mashup"
Chatanooga: "Look, Y'all, I Made Me a YouTube!"
Washington D.C.: "Harlem Shake (House of Representatives Version)"
Las Vegas: "Sure-Fire Winning Slot Machine Strategies, You Moron"
Los Angeles: "This Video Has Been Removed at the Request of the Copyright Holder"
Honolulu: "Why Are You Sitting Around Watching Online Videos, You're in Fricking HAWAII"
Tampa: "Family Finds Backyard Without Gators in It."
Salt Lake City: "Reservoir Dogs -- Violence and Swearing Removed [3:12]"
Topeka: "Classic Pro-Wrestling From 1986 -- General Hairchest vs. Gay Joseph Stalin"
Minneapolis: "Garrison Keillor's Greatest Pauses COMPILATION"
Kansas City: "The Biggest Longest YouTube Video of All, Which You Can Watch Because You Have Google Fiber"
Austin: "SXSW: Spoon Frontman Britt Daniel Eaten Alive By Red Ants"
Green Bay: "Aaron Rodgers Eats Chili Cheese Fries REALLY HIM! GO PACKERS!"
San Jose: "How to Create a Popular YouTube Video"
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Born helpless, naked and unable to provide for himself, Lore Sjöberg overcame these handicaps to become a video star, a radio star and a dwarf star.
