Comedian Matteo Lane Answers Stand-Up Questions

Can you tell I've watched this channel,

but I'm not like an archeologist.

[crew laughing]

Do you know what I mean?

Sorry, I wish I really had something to give to the world.

I'm comedian Matteo Lane,

and I'm here to answer your questions from the internet.

This is Standup Comedy Support.

[upbeat music]

This is from Celebrity Gaucho

and the picture's the Mona Lisa.

How long do I have to keep writing jokes

before they start getting funny?

[Matteo chuckling]

Find another job.

No, I will say that standup takes a really long time.

I've been doing this now for 17 years,

and when you start standup, usually what they tell you

and by they, other open micers is say,

Hey, it takes 10 years to find your voice,

to really bring all of your experiences on stage together.

So in other words, it's not just about,

yes, the jokes are important.

Jokes are important.

How do I stand on stage? How do I walk on stage?

How do I hold a mic on stage?

How long do I wait for the laughter?

If there is any laughter? How do I deal with hecklers?

How do I deal with other comics?

How do I deal with the booker? How do I deal with drunks?

How do I deal with, you know, so many small things?

I mean, comedy at some point almost turns musical

where I say something and I know if I wait too long

after the laughter, if I don't jump in with the tagline,

it's not gonna get as big of a laugh.

And that kind of thing only comes from doing it

every single night after years and years and years and years

with no social life and no sex life and wow,

my 20s were really rough.

This is from Reddit user Fragrant_Repair_9337.

Bombed so hard. How to get used to the uncomfortable?

I would say bombing is fundamentally

the most important thing that you can learn

when you're starting standup comedy.

And I sort of liken it to learning a new language.

If you try and be perfect,

you will never speak that language or remember anything.

The second you make a mistake and someone corrects you,

you never forget it.

So you have to have some kind of humility.

Bombing is great because when you're learning

how to do standup,

you need to know what is and isn't working.

And if it's you're bombing a lot,

when you're starting in standup,

that means you're not connecting with the audience

in the way that you should.

So you have to go back on stage every single night,

record yourself on your phone, go back and listen and say,

Okay, this went well and this didn't go so well.

And make your edits that way.

One thing that really helps is if you're writing jokes,

you don't have to write jokes and then perform the script.

Give yourself a kind of an outline,

so that way when you're on stage,

you're also consciously working on being authentic

with the audience and also lean into your vulnerability.

People don't like people on stage

who are trying to hide something.

This is from The_Baconbitz.

These names are really, The_Baconbitz?

Like of all the names you could pick on the internet,

you're going for dog food treats?

Whatever, okay.

Question for comedians.

What is too far with comedy or are there no limits?

This sounds also like an anal question.

I really don't know.

I feel like whatever your life experiences are

and how much the audience can take, you know what?

Poppers, lube, that usually helps. Alcohol.

That's why there's a two drink minimum.

But I mean, if you're telling jokes at a basement

at two o'clock in the morning to a bunch of adults

in New York City and everyone's wasted,

you can't go up there and be like, How now brown cow.

Just don't be too mean.

This Reddit user asks,

Is there a tutorial that teaches joke delivery?

No, unfortunately, with standup comedy,

at least in my point of view,

I don't really think you need to take classes.

And I don't think that you need to-

I mean, they could be helpful for some people, for sure,

but really the best way to do it

is throw yourself into the water.

You are gonna learn so much

by signing up at a local open mic.

And it's not so much about how you are on stage,

but so much as watching other people

in their creative process, seeing things

that you would've never known you could do.

I remember in Chicago in 2023,

I was so concerned about the joke writing.

Then I saw comedian Candy Lawrence and Natalie Jose,

and they were so expressive and loud on stage

and using their body, it dawned on me,

I didn't know that I was able to do that.

So watching comedy is just as important

as performing comedy.

This is from Reddit, user Rezistk.

What's the etiquette for audience members

who get picked on?

Don't try and be funnier than the comic.

You're not really being picked on.

The comic is using you to sort of

uplift the energy in the room.

So maybe one of their jokes didn't work

and they're like, [bleep] I gotta get out of this.

You, what do you do for work?

Whatever answer you think of,

when you're trying to think you're gonna be funnier,

you actually look worse.

If you just go along and answer seriously,

it kind of makes it a better show for everyone.

And then the comic will be less likely to pick on you

because you're being honest and you're helping them.

Oh my God. Mike Falzone.

You wanna know why standup comedy

is my favorite thing in the world?

I do, Mike. I wanna know why.

Because it's solely based in authenticity.

It's just you and the microphone

and either you make people laugh or you don't.

No games, no gaming the system.

You're funny or you're not. That's it.

The interesting thing about standup comedy

is that it's pretty raw,

in the sense of it's a person with a microphone.

There's no dancing, there's no singing,

there's no back, there's no nothing.

It's nice to just go into a basement

and watch someone think at you

and make you laugh and you relate to them.

It's probably one of the most connective art forms,

I would say.

Or is the ballet better? The ballet.

From another Reddit user.

Have you guys ever dealt with an audience member

with a weird, distracting laugh?

Yes. I actually like it.

You know, every time you hear the laughter

and it kind of lingers,

you can just always kind of point back to that person.

I actually just had this, I was in Philly.

You know, you can't see anything on stage.

The lights are so bright,

you can maybe see like a few people in front of you,

but then the rest is just, you know, total darkness.

And there was a woman in the upper left

and every time I'd finish a joke, everyone would laugh

and then you would just hear [laughs].

And I'm like, you know what?

This woman's really enjoying her time

and this is the point of it.

This is from JSLEI1.

Yes, the two drink minimum is a scam.

It's actually not a scam.

They're providing you a service, which is laughter.

And so when you go in, they say,

Look, order something on the menu.

Come on, it's a business.

I mean, there's servers,

there's the comedians who've gotta get paid.

Come on now.

This is from Intelligent-Floor.

Discussion. Do new comics have to have an online presence?

No.

They don't have to do anything.

Comedy is not about being a huge star

and having millions of dollars

and doing these giant stadiums.

Comedy is about your connection with an audience

and how you're growing in your craft.

Going online is definitely a route that can get you there

to expose yourself to try and sell tickets, et cetera.

However, I know a lot of comedians that aren't online

and they have successful careers

and they're the funniest comics I've ever met.

Whatever feels natural to you

should be the route that you go

and you shouldn't feel the pressure to do things

that other people are doing just because

it's the way that things have moved now.

This is from Chelseayoung568.

How many gigs did it take you

to stop feeling absolutely terrified

every time you're about to go on stage?

Or does that not really go away?

Similar to grief, it never goes away.

Life just builds around you.

You know, the first few times I went on stage,

I was petrified.

I was 23 years old.

I would drink, I would, I was just so scared

because it's so horrifying.

But as time went on, I completely stopped drinking

because I needed to get used to the feeling of anxiety

and dealing with the adrenaline to control it.

That, for me, is the attitude I feel I have to have.

'Cause I need it to be so natural

that the audience is immediately comfortable

because if I go out and I'm nervous,

they can feel it and it will ruin the show.

But I'm used to the adrenaline now,

so I can kind of hide it.

Usually, I slow my pace down

so that way, they don't think I'm that scared.

This is from Reddit user orange_pyjama.

Do you guys say pajama or pajama?

Pajama. You say pajama?

Where are you from? Florida.

So from orange_pyjama, What is the definition of craft?

It's a great movie in the '90s

about four girls who thought that they were witches

and then they realize that their fourth person

is a powerful witch,

and then there's controversy in the end.

People say he knows craft.

I know something about the craft.

I think when you're talking about the definition of craft,

you're just talking about like the medium and the medium,

what I use for that word is like similar to like an artist.

Like your craft is like your paintings

and your expression and your studio.

I guess craft really is similar to witches.

It's like your witch's lair with all your ingredients

and you throw it into a thing except it's jokes and words

because everyone has a different way of expressing them-

I guess it's a means of expression.

I guess I don't know what craft is, okay? You got me.

I don't know what craft is.

It's a great movie in the '90s.

And please, for God's sakes, don't remake it.

It's enough of these remakes.

Sero-Flex. Question for standup comedians.

How do you control your own laughter

when you think of and/or say something funny,

either in normal conversation or when you're performing?

Well, when you're in normal conversation,

I mean, you usually, you laugh,

but I would also say on stage,

sometimes you've said the joke so many times, I mean,

it takes months for a joke to fully develop itself.

You've worked on it and now you're showcasing,

whether you're doing clubs or theaters,

you're so just thinking about the rhythm of the joke.

But every once in a while, you do giggle it yourself.

Or I'll see someone in the front row laughing really hard

and I remind myself, Oh yeah, this was funny one time.

That's so strange.

This is from Reddit user Pointless_Storie.

Have you ever done standup

where the audience liked the wrong part of the joke

or laughed too early?

Yes. That has happened a lot.

And sometimes I get mad at them.

In my head because I'm like,

Why are you laughing at the premise?

Like I'm not even at the punchline yet.

I find this happening sometimes when I'm in other countries

performing in English,

because sometimes the response from different audiences

that aren't American or Anglophone, that I'm used to,

have a different comprehension, different colloquialisms,

different reaction to jokes.

When I ask an American audience a question

and I'm looking for a yes answer, they always go, Whoo!

That is like the universal very white girl.

And when I was in Paris, I asked the question,

thinking that they're all gonna go Whoo,

and at the same time, a thousand people go, Yes.

But you know what?

Any laughter's good laughter.

This is from Reddit user dbz253.

Is it generally accepted that most stand up comedians

make up stories about things that happened to them

just because it would make a good joke?

I think that there are some comics who do do that.

For myself, what I like to do is talk about my real life,

so my jokes feel more evergreen,

and then I get the chance to work on them

for months and months and really develop them.

But look, some comics are all about the fantasy.

To them, it's more about the medium of the joke

as opposed to the experience of the joke.

The setup punchline is far more important

than the actual truth behind it,

because they're really focused on how do I word play?

If I put this word in front of that word or I pause this

or I put this person in that situation and this,

you know, you're trying to solicit a response

to the audience.

This one is, What are your roast tips?

Nikki Glaser is like the queen of roasts.

Go watch her Golden Globe set.

I mean, that's the perfect blend of being likable

and being able to poke fun at somebody

while poking fun at yourself.

So basically it's like holding the hand of the person

you're roasting saying, I feel this too.

Have some humility. Let's move through this together.

Shmokeandoak.

What should I know before I go to my first open mic?

I would say don't have any expectations.

Be open-minded and get there early and be respectful.

And I hope you do well on stage. Maybe you won't, it's fine.

It's really just about getting yourself accustomed

to the life of open mic comedy and meeting other comedians

and watching other people and seeing what they do

and just do it every night.

Comics really respect people who work hard,

show up, and are funny.

And if you do those three things,

then eventually one day you're gonna walk in

and they're gonna be like, Yo, what's up?

And you're like, Oh my God, I thought you hated me.

But then they, you know, they're just sniffing you out.

This is from metacomedy1.

Questions for comedians.

What do you wear while on stage? What shoes and why?

I really just like to be as comfortable as possible,

which is a nice way of saying,

I don't look great on stage all the time.

Whatever you're wearing,

if you're the most comfortable in that thing,

that's how you should perform.

So there's people who wear jeans,

there's people who wear Chanel suits.

It's just whatever makes you feel good on stage.

This is from another Reddit user.

Why do most comedians eventually end up [bleep] sucking?

Some comics become larger than themselves

and they become a company.

They become larger than life

and it can take you away from the relatability,

in a lot of ways.

And relatability is the most important thing for standup.

And so I think it's really important

as you keep going up in standup comedy,

to keep yourself surrounded by people

who are going to keep you honest.

I think if you just stick to your craft

and keep going with it

and don't change your routine in that craft,

you will stay good for the rest of your life.

Bill Burr is probably the biggest comic

I can think of right now,

and I can't think of anyone funnier,

more relatable, more honest, more vulnerable, smarter.

This is from yelabh.

How many one-liners do you have to have in your arsenal?

Some comics really are one-liner comics,

like a machine gun, like [imitates machine gun].

And some comics sort of bring punchlines in and out

of stories that feel quite natural.

There is no right or wrong way.

Comedy is similar to walking into a museum.

Not every painting is the same.

They're all different, all different expression,

all different medium, but they're all using paint.

You have to have at least one, though.

Let me just say this.

You gotta have one punchline, for Christ's sake.

Reddit user named J-S-J-X-J-S-J-A-S-J-H-S.

[Matteo blabbering]

I sound like a white woman on Duolingo

trying to learn Spanish for two weeks

before she goes on her Mexican vacation

and just walks up to everyone.

[blabbering].

What is the difference between having

a dark sense of humor and being a downright[bleep]?

Lack of punchlines and humility.

This is from MindFixer. How do you deal with hecklers?

I'm trying to look for different styles

of how to deal with different types of hecklers.

I don't get many hecklers, but when I do,

the best thing that you can do is don't get too angry.

Yes, you're angry because people have bought tickets,

people have got babies.

Well, not really me, there's a lot of gays,

but people have got babysitters.

People came from other states

and really, a heckler is a very obvious form of narcissist.

Someone who doesn't notice that they're in an environment

where other people are trying to enjoy themselves

and they're making it about themselves.

You really don't wanna scream at them.

We all lose our temper, we are human. It happens.

And I hate when comics are seen

getting angry at audience members

and then people think, Oh,

they just dunno how to handle themselves.

So the first thing you have to do,

you have to act calm,

and you have to get everybody on your side.

I say, Is everybody bothered by this?

And then there's a sense of like,

Okay, he's addressing that we're uncomfortable.

Now everybody's on your side.

And then just say to them, Hey, right now,

you're kind of behaving narcissistic behavior

because no one else has behaved this way

and there's 2,000 people in this room.

Aren't you embarrassed?

And also, don't you have friends around you

that are holding you accountable?

Or do you have bad friends too?

And then you ask security to make them leave.

And then after that, move on with the show.

This is from, itsDANdeeMAN. Hmm.

How do you open your set?

I've been doing standup for 17 years

and a joke that I used to do, obviously I'm gay,

you don't need me to tell you,

unless you don't know and you just think I'm foreign.

But one of the jokes that I used to do,

because audiences, if you don't tell them that you're gay,

even though I look and sound gay,

they would be so uncomfortable,

like Why isn't he talking about it?

So I would just go up and not say anything

and I would sing in like a high falsetto [sings]

and then when people would clap uncomfortably

and I would go, That's a true story

of how I came out to my dad.

But I don't know, I think just be casual.

If you're getting into comedy,

you don't have to think of anything funny right off the bat.

You put the audience at ease

and then you guys can start whatever your flow is.

This is from faithinstrangers92.

Faith in strangers. What a Craigslist post. [laughs]

My faith in strangers has always brought me closer to, okay.

Why do you think some people are naturally

so much funnier than others?

Sometimes it's environmental,

sometimes it's just intrinsically how you are made up

genetically, how you interpret the world,

how you express yourself, how you see things,

how you interact with people.

You know, I come from a large family.

My mom's family's all Mexican and Italian

and I have about 6,000 cousins

and we all grew up on the same block

and all next to each other.

You have to go to battle every night at dinner

because there's so many people and so many people are funny.

You really don't speak up at the table

unless you also have something funny to add.

You come with a pretty quick sense of humor pretty quickly

because it was defending yourself every single night.

But I don't know, like I think my Aunt Cindy

is probably the funniest person that I know.

She's not a comedian, she's not a performer.

She's not even in show business.

But when I watch her tell stories,

I'm literally watching someone do a setup, a premise,

a punchline, a story, tags, impressions, performance.

And I see myself on stage,

almost performing the exact same way,

because that's just how I grew up.

This is from Jasmyn Carter The Comedian. Hey.

First rule of comedy, don't steal jokes.

That's the deadliest sin and that's weak.

I agree with you.

Now sometimes when you're in comedy,

you do see people saying very similar jokes

and similar material

because someone sees the new Batman movie

and someone else sees it.

They both have their opinion, they're both on stage,

they're both talking about, it just kind of happens.

But then there are comics who have stolen jokes

and pretend they didn't,

and I find that incredibly uncomfortable.

This is from another Reddit user named Official-Walmart-Inc.

Something tells me this isn't the official Walmart.

Experienced comedians.

Do you ever do 100% improv sets?

I think that there are comics who go out and improvise 100%.

Usually, that involves crowd work.

I don't think standup comedy usually

is something that comics want to go on stage

and do something new every single night.

But you know, comics are really acting in a way

because we're trying to act like it is the first time

we're thinking of these things,

the first times we're saying these things,

the first time we're reacting to these things.

A lot of times it seems so natural

that audiences think we're just saying it

off the top of our heads.

Meanwhile, we've said it 800 times.

This is from Brandon Queshawn.

Quick question for comedians, not comics.

First of all, it's all caps. Why are you yelling at me?

I am being abused right now.

Quick question for comedians, not comics.

Do you think open mics are still necessary

if needed at times or it's just when they want to?

I would say comedy is always changing.

Look, when I started comedy in 2009,

open mics was the way to engage with your community,

to learn how to write jokes, to practice your material.

Your currency was the respect from the better comics

in the back of the room, or they said that you were funny.

Now everyone's putting clips online

and I think that that can be really helpful,

obviously helped me.

But I also have 17 years worth of material

to be able to share online while I develop new material.

I think if you're a new comic and you're three years in

and you're trying to put stuff online,

you're keeping up with the game.

However, when do you get the chance to really develop

that material into full hour?

'Cause if one joke hits and you get a billion views

and they wanna book you, that's three minutes on stage.

What's the other 57 minutes?

I remember in school, my teacher Dan Guston said to me,

You are not working on the masterpiece.

You are working towards it.

And I've kept that in the back of my head

for my entire life.

God, it got so serious.

Stats_feed.

Who in your opinion is the greatest standup comedian

of all time?

I go in between Richard Pryor and Joan Rivers.

Richard Pryor, I think.

He made it sound like you were just coming up

with it all at the top of your head.

He didn't play the same games as everybody else

and he was so prolific in his storytelling.

I can still see comics today that's like,

Oh, that's the result of Richard Pryor.

And Joan Rivers.

I mean, Joan Rivers took comedy to another level

and she wasn't afraid of going the extra mile.

You know, she couldn't say she was pregnant on TV

when she was this big.

She couldn't say abortion,

she couldn't say anything.

She couldn't say gay. She always held onto it.

That's what made me wanna do comedy.

I was 22 and I saw a special of Joan Rivers,

ironically called Before Melissa Pulls the Plug

and there's this 71-year-old woman in heels

with giant fur coat walking around stage,

screaming at the audience.

You know, she still had the fight in her.

Well, that's it. That's all the questions.

I hope you learned something,

and we'll see you next time.